Ghostpwned What part of the phrase "I'm working on it" don't you understand?!
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Boss: I’d like to apologize again for trying to knock the stuffing out of you. I was a little on-edge after watching a guy’s head explode in front of me.

Chipmunk: Don’t forget you tried to shoot him, too.

Boss: Chipmunk, there’s no need to mention the meaningless details.

Chipmunk: Those of us who can’t regenerate body parts wouldn’t call nearly having their brains blown out “meaningless”.

Antonov: Does not matter now. Getting out alive is the goal now.

Ace: Agreed… Wait! You speak English?

Antonov: Yes.

Ace: Then why didn’t you tell us who you were when we attacked you?

Antonov: …You try talking in any language after about 180 pounds collides with your chest and tell me how it works out!

Boss: Again, sorry about that.

Ghost: Come on. Let’s do this.

Ace: Boss, go with Chipmunk and check out the back window.

Boss: On it.

Boss and Chipmunk look out the back window through a scope.

Chipmunk: Sir, you’re going to want to take a look at this…

The field is filled with Russians and armored vehicles.

Ace: …Well, we won’t be headed to the LZ that way.

Ghost: I’ll try to tap into their communications.

Boss spots a female Russian General talking to another officer. Her face is turned away from the 589. The lieutenant’s hair is tucked inside his cap, but he appears to be rather young.

Boss: (‘under his breath’) Well, that’s interesting…

Chipmunk: What?

Boss: I see a female Russian General talking to a lieutenant out there. Actually, she’s kind of attractive.

Chipmunk: Really? (Turns his scope to look at her) Yeah, I think you’re right.

Ace: Keep your minds on the job, you two. We’re going to try and make a break for it. Take her out.

Chipmunk: (Sarcastically) But Sir, we’ve only just met! I haven’t even introduced myself yet!

Ace: You know exactly what I meant, Squirrel Boy!

Chipmunk: What did you just call me?!?!?!

Ace and Chipmunk continue arguing. Ghost and Antonov both roll their eyes.

Ghost: Boss, take the shot.

Boss: Yes, sir.

Boss takes aim and lines up the perfect shot. He is about to fire when the General turns around so her face is visible. Boss freezes where he is.

Boss: …It can’t be…Tanya…

Ghost: Boss, what are you doing?! Take the shot now!

Chipmunk: I’ve got it!

Chipmunk shoots. The shot strikes between the eyes, but skims off the forehead rather than penetrating. As the bullet plows across the forehead, it tears away the synthetic flesh covering the forehead of a T-4.

Chipmunk: Crap! She’s a T-4!

Boss: I’ve got it!

Boss fires with a DC-15A, bringing it down. The real General takes off her lieutenant’s cap as she kneels by the fallen T-4.

Ace: Come on! We’ve got to bang out! Ghost-

Ghost: Already calling Command. Baseplate, we need immediate ex-fil, and don’t you dare say there are jets in the skies!

Command: You’re in luck, Zulu 6. There are no jets in the skies anywhere. We’re sending a chopper now.

After holding out for a little while

Ace: Let’s go! The chopper’s here!

Antonov gets in. Boss stops behind him.

Boss: …Pilot, get out of here now!

Everyone else: WHAT?!?!

Boss: Just go!

Boss shoots at the pilot, deliberately missing. The chopper leaves.

Ace: Would you mind explaining what the heck that was about?!

Boss: This time, there were fighter jets in the skies. Had the chopper stayed a moment longer, we’d all be dead.

Chipmunk: So how are we going to get out of here now, genius?

Ghost: …Does anyone know how to fly a B-2 Bomber?

Ghost points out a stolen B-2 Stealth Bomber on the runway.

Ace: I know a little bit about flying. I’m still going to need a co-pilot.

Chipmunk: How about we have “Mr. I-Just-Nearly-Blew-The-Chopper-Pilot’s-Brains-Out” handle it?

Boss: Sure! Why not? How hard can it be?


Chipmunk is hanging upside-down from a pine tree.

Chipmunk: "How hard can it be?" he said. Apparently, too hard for him to handle.

Boss: Hey, it's not my fault. We were shot down. You were supposed to be operating the defense guns.

Ace: Never mind that. Ghost, what our status?

Ghost: I got the basics on the plan from Antonov. Zakhaev plans to shut down all U.S. comms, shut down power and then redirect all of the oil back to the plants, causing god knows how much damage. On top of that, there'll be a task force headed to Alaska and California to invade when everything's down.

Ace: Never a good thing. I'll ring Nikolai, he'll get us out of this mess.

Chipmunk: Before you do that, could someone get me down from here? All the blood is rushing to my head.

Boss: Don't "Chipmunks" belong in trees?

Chipmunk: You think you're so funny.

Boss: I'm not wrong.